What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can vaginas get frostbite?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
