he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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