a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this beer tastes like vomit already
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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