I puked a lego.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
