That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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