Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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