Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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