I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
