didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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