A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
