i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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