he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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