she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
