I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he thought i was a dude.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
