it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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