Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
