okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
