Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
