Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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