Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
