As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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