You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
