Is it because I queefed?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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