I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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