Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
