Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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