Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
