She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
