dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
