Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
