no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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