Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
