sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
