Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
