You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
