There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
