So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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