he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I need a burrito and a hug.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
