shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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