His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
