As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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