physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Houston, we have a blender
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
