I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
