is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
