i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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