you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
