I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
