they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i think my cat just said my name.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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