Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
