dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
